How Do YOU Decide When To Forgive?
A recent article on MSN/FOX announced the NFL's decision to progressively restore Michael Vick's membership in their organization, clearing the way for his eventual return to the NLF league.
Mr. Vick, as you may remember, was the highest paid player in the NFL (130 million over a ten year contract), playing for the Falcons until he pleaded guilty of funding a dog fighting ring on his property and personally participating in the killing of non-performing dogs by "shooting, hanging, drowning or slamming them to the ground." (MSN/Fox quote)
The article included Vick's assurances that he "understood the terrible mistakes he had made in the past and what type of life he must lead moving forward."
Apparently, in Mr. Vick's mind, "moving forward," also includes the restoration of his 10 million dollar plus a year income as revealed on his repayment plan filed in conjunction with his filing of bankruptcy last year.
So goes the logic of the forgiven.
I suppose it's possible that Mr. Vick has learned a lesson from his 18 months in prison. I suppose he could be truly repentant and remorseful over his past actions. I also understand there are trials and temptations that I will never understand - nor do I want the opportunity to try. But I believe the news article presents an opportunity to learn something about forgiveness, and about second chances. And I think it's best illustrated by the following little story:
We have an older, wealthy client who, in our opinion, represents the highest example of someone who has lived - and continues to live - a moral life. His conduct is exempliary - responsible, fair, trustworthy, respectful of others and their opinions, and in every sense of the word, a true gentlemen. He's also a religious man, attending church, counseling younger men, and conducting himself as an example to others.
Perhaps just as important, I have never heard him say anything negative towards another person, nor have I heard him disparage anyone even when he had been obviously wronged and had every right to criticize them for trying to take advantage of him. He would simply say that because he can't possibly know their circumstances, motivations or situation at the time, he cannot stand in judgment over them. All in all, a pretty good guy.
I talked with him last night. We spent fifteen minutes on business and then our discussion turned to personal issues - the news, the economy, the general state of our country. He talks, I listen. That way, I learn something. During most of our conversations, I learn a lot.
He mentioned he had read the story about Vick and the NFL's decision to progressively re-instate his status. And then he asked me what I thought about it. He asked because he knows that Jill and I care very deeply about animals and donate both time and money to no-kill shelters as well as being involved in wild animal conservation efforts.
I told him that I was grateful that I was not being asked to forgive Mr. Vick and those like him, since I was far too biased in favor of the humane treatment of all animals - and conversely, the punishment of those who subject animals to pain and suffering for money or pleasure.
He was quiet for a few moments, and I wondered if I had said too much. Then he spoke. And what he said speaks to responsibility, and for being held accountable for what we do, both for and against others.
Word for word, here it is:
"Well, I know forgiveness is a quality reserved for the Divine, and we're cautioned to "judge not, that ye be not judged." But I'll tell you something. When I read about people like this, who make money or find enjoyment in the intentional mistreatment, torture and acts of cruelty to defenseless animals, or to any living thing for that matter, it's hard for me to understand what kind of person could do such a thing. Even as old as I am - having lived as many years as I have - it still bothers me a lot. I suppose some of these people change their ways, understand what they've done and try to make amends, but I also know there are others who don't. They talk a good game, and make promises and say they're sorry and that it will never happen again, but then months or years later, we read about them committing some terrible crime, and then we see the previous convictions and arrests for the same thing. But I've found there's something I can do that helps me keep these things in perspective - letting me get on with my work. What I do is to say a special little prayer, in which I ask God for two things: First, I ask Him to prepare a special part of hell for these people who refuse to change. And if it's possible, to make it a place that is worse that the rest of hell - an extra horrible place that exists to punish those who forced the innocent to suffer.
And second, I pray that God puts me in charge of it."
His answer surprised me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that his definition of forgiveness was not based on apology or a statement of remorse prepared by a media agent. For him, the act of forgiveness was on-going. And was justified only as long as the behavior of the forgiven continues to warrant exoneration - every day - for the rest of their life.
In this man's personal efforts to strive at living a "good life," he had learned that character is reflected by long term - and consistent - behavior. And that our nature - good or bad - is reflected daily in what we accomplish and who we serve by doing it.
And so, mr. Vick, maybe you will "turn your life around." Maybe you're actually sincere about your rehabilitation. Maybe you will be able to make a positive contribution to society of such a magnitude that God will find a way to forgive you when it is your time to be judged.
I hope so.
Because if you don't, I wouldn't be surprised that on judgment day, you're going to find the Almighty pointing to an older gentleman who has been waiting for you, and who will no doubt have some very specific ideas about how you will spend eternity.
"Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?" ~Pierre Troubetzkoy
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." -Gandhi
Posted at 03:37PM Aug 04, 2009 by Jill Reid in General |
